Maybe I should explain myself.

There’s a lot to explain, though. Let’s start with the simple stuff.

Who am I? Well, I go by Nick. I’m young and stupid and made a lot of really bad decisions recently. Really bad decisions.

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Like this. I did this (the photo and the drugs).

 I’m not going to sugar-coat it. I am currently 40 days sober, at least from my drug of choice, after spending some time severely addicted to methamphetamine. Though I’m really only 4 days sober in terms of everything. I got my hands on some suboxone for a bit; I can’t relapse if I’m too busy nodding off and weighed down to the couch. I’ll go into more detail about my story in another post – this one is just a brief (or as brief as I can manage to be, I tend to talk too much) introduction for any newcomers who might be interested.

Why am I making this blog? Honestly, mostly for myself. If other people take interest in my story, that’s great! I hope you guys learn something or at least enjoy my experiences. But I really like to document things; I have a dreadful memory, especially after my excessive drug use, and this will allow me to record my experiences so I don’t have to worry about forgetting memories I desperately want to keep. I also hope to sell some art to work up a fund for my travels, as well as find contacts who could possibly assist me as I journey across the state. I don’t necessarily expect to draw much attention, but I do still hope to at least find a few kind people who might be willing to support or encourage me as I try to find happiness that I don’t have to snort or inject. Also, I really hope that maybe someone who’s also struggling with addiction (or any of the other problems I face or discuss) might come across this blog and find some sort of inspiration or hope for themselves to get better. Recovery is hard, and I still regularly find myself craving that high, to a point where I’d be willing to take literally any drug just to escape sobriety. But it can be done. Ever ounce of my being is ready to quit, I am determined to find my purpose and discover what makes me happy, and what makes me who I am. Because it sure as hell wasn’t drugs, it wasn’t hiding from cops or tweaking out the window anytime a car passed by. It wasn’t going a week at a time without food or sleep.

I haven’t started my journey just yet; I am currently making preparations. I need to add to my fund, and decide what I will bring with me. My current destination is likely to be California, to make a surprise visit to my dad, who I haven’t seen in about 5 years. Getting to there from East Tennessee is going to be a long trip… but I’ve never been more excited.

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